There are a few basic rules to winning. The most basic is to get in the game. You can’t win if you’re not in the game.
The second rule is not to beat yourself – by doing things like not trying or making silly errors. Business etiquette falls into this category.
More business is won and lost due to poor business etiquette, social skills and first impressions than to lack of experience, competence, character, work ethic, and quality of products and services. Think about it. Before people hire you or buy your product, they don’t know the actual quality – they simply buy on impression. Business etiquette plays a very important role in the impression you make. So if you want to succeed, conduct yourself in a way that opens doors and wins business.
The good news is that rules of etiquette are no mystery. They’re easy to learn and not hard to adhere to. You have total control in the etiquette game. In addition, most people are pretty forgiving about etiquette issues. They just want to see you display basic good manners and make a good-faith effort to conduct yourself with professionalism and treat people with respect. A few slip-ups should not cost you a relationship or sale, but better etiquette – which conveys maturity, education and sincerity – may make the difference between you and your competitor.
First Impressions. When people first meet you in a business setting, they’ll immediately decide whether they’re willing to do business with you. They size you up visually. Are you well dressed? Well groomed. Professional? Healthy? Successful? Experienced? Friendly?
Fail the first-impression test and nothing you say or do will matter. Take care of your appearance and smile, make eye contact, stand up straight and offer a firm handshake. Call this silly, but if you are serious about building your business, this is a game you have to play well.
Once people accept you based on first impression, they’ll give you a few minutes to begin building rapport. How do you do this?
Synchronize and Mirror. This means, generally, “do what they do.” If they shake hands firmly, speak loudly in a rapid cadence and remain standing, you do the same. If they speak softly, pause for long moments of silence and sit in a relaxed manner, you do the same. The bottom line is that people like and are comfortable with people like themselves.
Listen and Engage. This means that you show a genuine interest in them. Ask them questions, listen to the answers and get to know them. This does not mean talking all about yourself. It’s like a game of tennis. Keep hitting the conversation ball back in their court and get them engaged.
Connect. Find common ground. This could be anything. Perhaps you share a love of fishing, you grew up in the same area or you work in the same industry. Finding common ground will increase the opportunity to build a relationship.
Basic Tips
Your hands and arms should not be crossed or in your pockets. People like to see your hands. It facilitates the building of trust and openness.
Handshakes should be firm but not too tight or forceful. Two good shakes and then let go. Do the same for men and women – no limp handshakes for either gender.
Introduce higher-ranking persons to lower-ranking ones. For example, introduce the president of a company to the vice president of a company (not the other way around). Also, add a conversational information point to each person you introduce, such as:
“Tobey, this is John Paxon. John has been with XYZ Company for 25 years and is head of U.S. Operations. John, this is Tobey Johnston. Tobey joined ABC’s Houston office about a year ago. He was previously with PDQ Services in Denver.”
The one exception to the above is: Always introduce your customer or client first. This signifies that, in your world, your customer ranks above all else.
Example: “Mr. Customer, this is Ms. Jones, the CEO of our company Gift & Gadgets. Ms. Jones, Mr. Customer has been a valued customer for many years.
Always stand when being introduced, and always shake hands. When shaking hands, move to a position where you are not shaking over a table, chair, person, car, etc.
The painful thing about etiquette failures is that they are nobody’s fault but your own. You can’t blame the referee because you should have known the rules. A professional golfer who does not know and adhere to the rules will not make it on the tour. Similarly, a professional business person who does not know the rules will not make it big in the business world. For this reason, The Business Owner will begin including articles on basic etiquette.
Jana Christian provided expertise for this article. She is president of The Etiquette School of Oklahoma. You can reach her at www.oketiquette.com.
This article originally appeared in The Business Owner Journal, the periodical of choice for owners of small and midsize private businesses. All rights reserved, D.L. Perkins LLC. © 2012.
This publication is intended to provide general information on the subject matters covered. It is sold and distributed with the understanding that neither the publisher nor any distributor or advertiser is engaged in providing legal, tax, insurance, investment or other professional advice. The advice of a qualified professional should be sought before any reader applies a concept presented herein to his or her particular situation or business.
D.L. Perkins, LLC is solely responsible for this content.
