Do You Have the Eyes of a Leader?

Effective leaders and communicators make good eye contact.

Legendary UCLA professor Albert Mehrabian discovered that up to 93 percent of communication is nonverbal. In other words, there’s a lot more to communication than the spoken words.

When you’re communicating, you might as well assume the audience can see into your soul. Recall the ancient proverb: The eyes are the window to the soul. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, your eyes will betray you. So, before you communicate, ask yourself: Do I believe my own message? If not, your audience won’t either. So if you aren’t sure what your convictions are, find them before you communicate. If you are not sure where next to lead your troops, decide now so you don’t have to fake it.

With Decisiveness, Conviction and Passion

People won’t listen and believe unless they SEE something of importance. They want to see decisiveness, conviction and passion. They also want to SEE if they trust you. They want to know if you’re a person who really cares about them and the issue at hand.

So how do you communicate this way? As we said above, it’s more in HOW you communicate than WHAT you say.

Research shows that people of higher status and dominance show equal eye contact when talking and listening. People of lower status and dominance look away while listening more than they do when speaking. Additionally, when we look people in the eyes, we feel better about ourselves. We actually rate our own self-esteem higher.

Moreover, business owners should keep in mind that employees want to follow confident men and women. Powerful people. Whether breaking bad news or conveying a new strategy, inconsistent messages (verbal and nonverbal) will undermine your effectiveness and create uncertainty, doubt, even lack of trust. Don’t let this happen to you. Make good eye contact with everyone in the room.

Convey Care Through Your Eyes

All people long to be truly listened to — especially by those in positions of high status and authority. Providing consistent eye contact while listening to an employee demonstrates we value him or her as a person. Most employees simply want to know that you care enough to truly listen to their needs, even if you don’t solve their problem. Recall Egyptian Pharaoh Ptahhotep’s proverb:

If you are a man who leads, calmly hear the speech of one who pleads, (and) do not stop him from purging his body of that which he planned to tell. A man in distress wants to wash his heart more than that his case be won.

In our Western culture, eye contact conveys status, confidence and care. Good eye contact — especially while listening — is also the trait of the effective leader and communicator. Not many people master the skill, but we sure notice those who do. The good news is that you can be one of these people. Just make it a priority and begin to do it today — one personal engagement at a time.

Chris Zervas provided his expertise for this article. He is a communication expert who coaches, teaches and speaks on communication and leadership. You can reach him at chris@summitsolutiongroup.com.