They lie and manipulate, charm in one breath and back-stab the next, show little regard for how their words and actions affect others, and explode with rage over nothing.
Do you work with a sociopath? Here are the telltale traits:
1. Jekyll & Hyde Personality: You never know who is going to show up for work – Jekyll or Hyde. Their specialty is using people and leveraging every possible thing in a ravenous quest for power, recognition, asset acquisition and narcissistic indulgence. Sociopaths lie when it is just as easy to tell the truth.
2. Charming but Not Very Nice: They may have a charming and entertaining persona but exhibit an “above the law” and “certain rules don’t apply to me” side. They justify their nonconformity by blaming others and accepting no responsibility.
3. Disregard for the Rights, Feelings and Needs of Others: They are opportunistic and unconcerned about how their actions affect others. It’s “what’s in it for me” regardless of cost.
4. Lack of Empathy: They show a complete lack of remorse and profound self-absorption. They are uncaring and insensitive at best, cruel at worst.
5. Emotionally Shallow and Cold: They are detached, dispassionate and emotionally aloof, showing little interest in others. They are prone to be melodramatic but devoid of any real emotion.
Here’s how to cope.
Maintain rapport. The only way to deal with sociopaths is to stay close to them. They must trust you, listen to you and confide in you. You must maintain a relationship. It won’t be fun, and will take a lot of self-discipline, but they probably will leave you alone and allow you, to some degree, to influence them.
Adjust your expectations. Your pain is largely the result of your unrealistic expectations. Your hope for a breakthrough is repeatedly dashed. Get over it. These people cannot form close, collaborative relationships. Get real and move on.
Get help. Sociopaths can be high performers. They might be great at sales, negotiations and finance. So if you employ one, you may not want to let him or her go. Consider hiring someone, such as an executive coach, to help the sociopath learn to get along in your workplace, and to help co-workers handle it, too.
Jay Kent-Ferarro provided the expertise for this article. Dr. Jay, through his consulting firm Empowerment Technologies, provides executive coaching, training and human performance consultation. See www.DrJayFerraro.com.
This article originally appeared in The Business Owner Journal, the periodical of choice for owners of small and midsize private businesses. All rights reserved, D.L. Perkins LLC. © 2012.
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